We're Alive, Together, How Cool!

Your life is happening right now. This is it. You are alive and living your existence with this very breath. "Yeah, no shit Tash" you might say. But this has never been something I could tap into.

For the last 6 months I've scheduled an alarm every 2hrs on certain days, to remind myself of this fact. It's been humbling and comforting to be shown EXACTLY how I'm living my life in detail.

Earlier this week it went off while I was ugly crying over an upcoming show I feel totally unprepared for. I paused and thought, fuck it, I'm gonna actively choose this meltdown. Having the presence of mind to choose a meltdown was actually pretty cool.

But what these alarms have mostly shown me is how much I absolutely adore my life and the people in it, (even when I am full of anxiety or having a depressive episode or in physical pain) and that "destination" is an illusion, there is ONLY journey.

Crossing the street holding sweets I'm about to take to a friend's place, feeding the cats, mixing paint, book club mornings that go long, doing errands with my partner, reading a story to my friends' kids, etc.

Having a literal reminder that my life is a seemingly infinite collection of tiny moments has helped me become more present in my life and my body in ways nothing else has.

Meditation has never clicked. Breathe work often fills me with anxiety. The word 'mindfulness' has been just that...a word on a page I couldn't access - to the point where I thought others must be gaslighting themselves or faking it.

But a 'ring-a-ding-ding' every 2 hours? BINGO. The best is when it goes off around friends and I'm like "Hey! We're alive, together, how cool!" WE ARE ALIVE TOGETHER HOW COOL.