Anxiety...My Imagination Gone Rogue?

On Abstract Art & Imagining Ourselves into a Harmonious World.

Yeah yeah, this title is a MOUTHFUL but I promise I tie it all together.

I recently described myself as an Imagination Whore. I'd also say I'm a Functional Idealist in that I run far from reality when thinking about new ideas, but then aim to bring those ideas back to the present to see what might actually be achieved.

For much of my life and career, idealism has been something I felt I needed to keep in check so as to not go insane. It's generally been a non-stop flight to burn-out city. I've constantly fought myself (and many others: clients, bosses, partners, eek!) because the Imagination Whore has a big mouth and damn is she stubborn and resilient AF. I mean, why on Earth would I bother to do something if I'm not gonna at least try and achieve the most ideal version of that thing?

Wishing Well - Digital Painting.

Idealism is not perfectionism - I see them as almost opposites. Perfectionism feels like it operates within the bounds of reality and often rides shotgun with fear. Idealism however feels like escaping reality. It's about imagination, fear be damned! It's "Fuck it, lets' go for it, who cares if it fails at least we tried!" (P.S. I cared, all the damn time).

Since pursuing art full time, idealism and imagination are now central pillars to the success of my work - they're no longer things to be navigated, but things to be used with reckless abandon. And you better believe that's what I'm doing.

Imagination has been a hot topic among friends of late (hehe, maybe because I am on a mission to infect everyone with it). Some have expressed difficulty accessing their imagination, that they feel generally out of touch with it. Others have said their imagination doesn't feel like a safe place to exist. And some of you are whores like me.

I deeply relate to the idea that your imagination can feel like an unsafe place. As an imagination whore, it's not all kittens and queer-artist-vegan-utopias and temps that never drop below 20C (70F) that my brain serves up, it's also horrific dreams I can't unsee, it's imagining my partner dead because I called his name and he didn't answer, it's randomly imagining myself doing awful things, it's overthinking every tiny decision because I'm imagining 100,000 outcomes. It's….ANXIETY, and I have come to believe that for me....

ANXIETY IS MY IMAGINATION GONE ROGUE.

Art, however, seems to keep it in check - it's definitely not a cure, but seems to be a rather effective treatment. And yes, generally all art, but more specifically abstract art.

Abstract art is a huge fuck-you to what we think reality is, it's PURE imagination and expression.

For me, abstract art opens the door to everything by giving me nothing.

It is, in essence, possibility. The more I create (and consume) abstract art, the more my imagination seems to be a place of wonder and mystery, not horror.

Basically, as long as I tire it out with colours and shapes, it's less likely to throw me an apocalypse at 3am. For as long as I can remember, my dreams have been places of deeply disturbing, violent, 'end of times' kinds of events. As my art practice has grown over the years, my dreams have become more and more 'normal’ and less and less traumatizing. Coincidence? I think not.

Turns out, seeing the previously unimaginable (aka abstract art), time and time again, exist in front of your very eyes, does something powerful to your brain (according to both science and me, lol, the true authority). It allows us to detach from reality and opens little pockets of 'what if' for us to swim in. It helps undo the ‘that’s not realistic’, ‘I can’t possibly imagine X’ bullshit, and creates a portal to make new associations.

I mean, what even is this? Who knows! You decide!

Ok so how does imagination help the world at large?

Some absolute legends have written about imagination as a liberation tool (Bell Hooks, Octavia Butler, and Tricia Hersey). They preach that to be stripped of your imagination is a deep form of oppression - where there is no imagination there is no hope, where there's no hope, despair and apathy usually reside - and ya know, before you know it, you don't even have the will to fucking live let alone imagine the possibility of a different situation.

I'm a solid subscriber to this ideology (after all, I think it saved my damn life some years ago). Lifting ourselves and each other out of this mess is going to require Olympic levels of collective imagination over generations and I am here to do my part, and I'd like to do it with you, if you so desire.

"But Tash, how the hell are we imagining ourselves into a more harmonious world if our imaginations have been stripped from us through forced labour, scarcity mindsets, and the general polluting of our hearts against our fellow humans, animals, and the Earth in general!? We can't even imagine basic shit, let alone a brand new world!"

Cats are exceptional resting partners. That's why I live with 6. I need all the help I can get.

Wow, so glad you asked! I'm not really sure, but I do know this:

1. Rest (per Tricia Hersey) is an essential component to invite imagination back in. Imagination disappears for the chronically exhausted - it sure did for me. If you're intrigued by this idea at all I soooo encourage you to check out her book Rest Is Resistance. It rewired my brain.

   
   

2. Abstract art IS a form of rest, whether you're creating it or consuming it! It's rest for your worn out brain - from reality, rules, expectations. It opens the door to everything not only by giving you nothing, but also by expecting nothing. AND bonus, it might even keep some level of anxiety in check.

And with that I wanna play a lil game! Oh won't you indulge this starving artist (starving for your unhinged ideas, otherwise very well fed)? What’s something that currently feels completely unrealistic, that you'd like to imagine as a reality? For yourself, or for the world?

I put 2 of mine in the comments! Join me in imagination whoredom. It's a fun AND healthy snack that might spiral into obsession but I guarantee the company is exceptional.